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Suffocating Memories of a Mormon Mission

by Sharon Lindbloom
22 July 2024

A new “spine-chilling psychological horror” movie starring Hugh Grant is slated to be released in November. Titled “Heretic,” the premise of the film is this: “Two young missionaries are forced to prove their faith when they knock on the wrong door and are greeted by a diabolical Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant), becoming ensnared in his deadly game of cat-and-mouse” (The Salt Lake Tribune, “Watch Hugh Grant terrorize LDS missionaries in trailer for new horror movie”).

After watching the movie trailer Beth Adams, guest columnist for The Salt Lake City Tribune’s Opinion section, wrote an article provocatively headlined, “‘Heretic’ brings back scary, suffocating memories of my LDS mission.” 

As a young woman Ms. Adams served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at Temple Square in Salt Lake City. She explains,

“The [‘Heretic’] trailer portrays two female, or ‘sister,’ missionaries trapped in a prison-maze house with choices of doors that are supposed to test their faith. The movie, yet to be released, strikes me as a visceral allegory, bringing to life a claustrophobic feeling I experienced as a Latter-day Saint missionary. Though I neither experienced — nor feared — being kidnapped or trapped by an unhinged stranger, I was nevertheless locked in the house, so to speak.”

Ms. Adams writes about having felt trapped as a missionary, wanting desperately to go home, but unable to buck the system that tied her to her missionary commitment. “Like the sisters in the movie,” she writes, “I believed my worthiness and my ability to return to the Celestial Kingdom (the highest Mormon heaven) after I die was predicated on my obedience and willingness to endure to the end. I believed in patriarchy. I believed my male church leaders had all the answers. I was trapped by my baked-in belief that I needed to listen to my priesthood leaders.”

So listen she did. She went to her mission president for help with her concerns and was told that she didn’t have enough faith. He told her to do more to increase her faith and all would be well. But it wasn’t. Ms. Adams did what her mission president told her to do, yet she remained deeply troubled; and so, she writes, the Temple Square Visitor Center, where she served, became her prison.

“On Temple Square, I could have left and walked to the food court across the street. I was an adult. But my choices and my worthiness were predicated on my ability not only to stay on my mission but also to tell everyone it was the best 18 months of my life.”

Hugh Grant in Heretic

I encourage you to read more about Beth Adams’ LDS mission experience at The Salt Lake Tribune, but the gist of it is this: 

  • Her leaders failed her, focusing on her actions rather than her needs. 
  • Her family failed her, focusing on following the missionary rules without compassion for Beth and her struggles. 
  • Her religion failed her, focusing on her works-based worthiness without any provision for rescue from her despair. 

The people and things that should have been for Beth Adams were not. They left her high and dry.

This is what Mormonism does to people. While it may look good on the outside, Mormonism fails people who struggle. It fails people who need a Savior.

Mormonism puts all the weight of sin and sadness on the individual. “Man can transform himself and he must,” taught 12th LDS President Spencer W. Kimball. “Man has in himself the seeds of godhood, which can germinate and grow and develop. As the acorn becomes the oak, the mortal man becomes a god. It is within his power to lift himself by his very bootstraps from the plane on which he finds himself to the plane on which he should be. It may be a long, hard lift with many obstacles, but it is a real possibility” (Spencer W. Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kim­ball, 28).

For Beth Adams, and millions of fellow LDS missionaries and church members, Mormonism presents a series of obstacles that must be overcome. It is possible, they are told. Try harder. Work harder. Transform yourselves. Maybe someday you will manage it. But if you don’t, it’s your own fault. Mormonism offers no help. It calls on adherents to support the rules, not the soul in need.

Dr. Ron Carlson, a great encourager in Christian ministry, was well-known for reminding his friends and family, “God is for you.” And it’s true. God is for His people. What a comfort. What a blessing. And what a stark contrast to Mormonism.

Nineteenth century Christian preacher Charles Spurgeon wrote about God being for us as he discussed Psalm 56:9:

“It is impossible for any human speech to express the full meaning of this delightful phrase, ‘God is for me.’ He was for us before the worlds were made. He was for us or He would not have given His well-beloved Son; He was for us when He smote the Only-begotten and laid the full weight of His wrath upon Him—He was for us, though He was against Him. He was ‘for us’ when we were ruined in the Fall—He loved us notwithstanding all…

“He is for us with all the infinity of His being, with all the omnipotence of His love, with all the infallibility of His wisdom. Arrayed in all His divine attributes, He is for us—eternally and immutably for us; for us when the heavens shall be rolled up like a worn-out robe; for us throughout eternity.” (“God Is For Me“)

Christians, please remember how Beth Adams struggled as a Mormon missionary. Please remember the weight of the burden of Mormonism on those who are “trapped” by that false religious system. While it may look good on the outside, Mormonism fails people who need our Jesus. Mormonism is against them; they need to know that God is for His people. Please – love the Mormons in your life with deep compassion and tell them this great, Good News.

To see Sharon’s other news articles, click here.

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